Hey there, kids. I'm back at home now. I realize that I've been really slacking off with the blogging lately. Something about trying to write the ten-part entry on my trip to LA has really bogged me down. Hence, I'm about 5 months behind as far as updates.

Let's see here, what has been going on since Janurary?...

Oh yes. That's right. Everything. The last five months of my life have been filled with all kinds of different things. Massive highs and immeasurable lows. Everything from my aunt's death to my roommate's attempt to kill me while drunk. Everything from a brief spring break romance with a girl that I'll never see again to my journey back home for the summer. And, like they say in bad commercials, "Much, much more!"

Good. Glad I could clear all of that up.

Okay. Maybe I'll give you some detail one of these days.

Anyway, back to my normal comedy-like blog product. After applying to almost every possible job in the Western Hemisphere during spring break, I came back home for the summer and re-applied to Target, who hired me the next day.

Now I'm waiting for Target to call me back and tell me when my 'oreintation" will be. It seems that they hire people in big groups, and that they are all shown around at once, at a scheduled time. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here lying around the house wondering if they really do love me, why they never call, and if they've been messing around with that other applicant behind my back.

Allright, it's pretty obvious that except for a little bit of stuff in those last two paragraphs, my funny powers are not back where they should be just yet. I guess that's why I haven't been writing much lately- I just haven't felt funny enough. Maybe it was the stress from all the above-listed stuff over the last few months. Maybe it was the amount of creative writing-powers that I poured into a story that I wrote for a class (which I might post here some day), or maybe this is turning out to be the least entertaining blog entry ever and I should stop rambling like a middle schooler who just discovered MySpace.

Here's something good. Sometime during the last semester, I started writing down all of the really funny comments that people made in classes.

Our Astronomy professor likes to teach advanced mathematical concepts to his own kids at an earlier age than their schools do:

Professor: So I was trying to explain to her the second derivative of the space-time curve...

Student: How old is your daughter?

Professor: She's in fifth grade.

Same class, different time:

Some student Obviously confused) Oh, God!

Professor: Yes?

Speaking of God, let's move on to New Testament class stuff:

Actual questions on a quiz:

18. Okay, you've got me. I'm out of questions. Seriously.

19. See above.

20. See above.

Overheard between students while discussing the answers, after the quizzes had been graded and returned:

"I couldn't think of 'Son of Man,' so I put 'Grand Master Funk- He who brinks the funk for all the children of Jerusalem.'"

Ah, yes. We need an Awesome thing of the "Week," don't we? Well, this is pretty much the coolest video ever made. (Click "THE VIDEO watch now"). It's not that "peak of the Internet" thing I mentioned last time, but it is pretty darn cool.

Hey, kids! You can cease panicking now, I'm back. Maybe if I wrote shorter entries, I would have time for more of them...
 

Hey, kid! You can cease panicking now, I'm back. Maybe if I wrote shorter entries, I would have time for more of them...
 

And it seems that, despite popular belief, I am not the worst speller on the Internet. As it turns out, Mecha-Streisand (Or perhaps her webmaster) is far worse than I am.

Anyway, I'm ready to tell you about

LA: LEGENDARY ADVENTURE!


Let's begin...

(Music)

ELON UNIVERSITY
ODE 2  1/2: LA: LEG

fter having a decent first semester of his sophomore year, Adam applied to be a "guinea p

(Music stops abruptly)

Just kidding, kids. I'm not going to take something that was excellent the first time and then recycle it again and again until it becomes a tired cliché, even thought that seems to be what Hollywood has been all about lately.

First, let's start with a little bit of background. This class was in January, and the trip was for 10 days. Only us Communications Fellows (A select group of the coolest kids in the school) were allowed to apply.

It’s also important to note that the airfare, hotel, and almost everything else was paid for by the School of Communications.

The first part of the class consisted of regular, in-classroom stuff such as the history of the city of LA, how the film industry works, and some background on the people we were going to meet in LA.

The class was taught by Professor Gibson, who can only be described as ‘”bald” and “freaking awesome.” He was one of our two main supervisors in Los Angeles. The other was Peter Kiwitt, who will show up later (unfortunately).

At some point during the classroom part, someone asked how likely we were to see a celebrity while in LA. Gibson said that it was pretty likely, but that "Celebrity" was something that was really on a sliding scale. We might not see an A-list celebrity, but we would be pretty likely to see, a C or D-lister.

"Oooh, look! It's Mr. Wendy's!" I joked.

It's important to note here that I was talking about the "unofficial spokesman" from the short-lived advertising campaign and not Dave Thomas, who died a few years ago.

But there was one C-list celebrity that I really wanted to see: Ric Romero from the KABC News team!

Ric is their Consumer News guy. He gained Internet-wide fame last October when he did an...um...informative piece on a new craze called “blogging.” I’m serious. Read it, it’s pretty funny. Next, I'd expect him to do a story on that thing called "The Charleston." He took his blog down a while ago, but I’ve got a screen shot of it here. Ric's bio is also pretty unintentionally humorous.

After the article was posted on Fark.com, it quickly became one of the site's favorite clichés. People would post his picture and put an obvious or old-news statement under it. Here’s some examples:

The Internet is now available on computers!

Scientists are beginning to wonder if the Earth is really at the center of the Universe after all. Film at 11.

Every time Adam posts this picture, he steals bandwidth from KABC's Web site.

And it resulted in lots of great Photoshop jobs:

It just got funnier from there.  Here's what happened when they had a Photoshop with the theme "If Ric Romero made a newspaper."

Okay, back to the actual story...

We left Elon University at some ungodly hour in the morning (Note that for college students, this is something like 8 AM.) and took a bus to Raleigh-Durham Airport. From there we traveled to Dallas-Fort Worth aboard the Airline that Only Travels to Airports with Two Names. While there, we ate Chinese from a restaurant that had a small Styrofoam cup set aside for “TRAHS.” The Chinese were delicious, but I understand why Godzilla prefers to eat Japanese people. (Haha, geddit?!) I opened my fortune cookie, and it predicted that there was a great adventure ahead for me. Swweeeeet.

Then I wondered if the people who had written it knew if it was going to be given out in an airport.

I had a great adventure ahead, and it had hardly even begun.

But this installment is over.